"You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait. Do not even wait, be quite still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice. It will roll in ecstasy at your feet."- Franz Kafka, Reflections on Sin, Pain, Hope and the True Way
"Just by breathing deeply on your anger, you will calm it. You are being mindful of your anger, not suppressing it…touching it with the energy of mindfulness. You are not denying it at all. When I speak about this to psychotherapists, I have some difficulty. When I say that anger makes us suffer, they take it to mean that anger is something negative to be removed. But I always say that anger is an organic thing, like love. Anger can become love. Our compost can become a rose. If we know how to take care of our compost…Anger is the same. It can be negative when we do not know how to handle it, but if we know how to handle our anger, it can be very positive. We do not need to throw anything away.."- Thich Nhat Hanh (via biscodeja-vu)
There comes a point for every POC, after you have “awakened” to the virulent and systematic nature of your own oppression and that of others, after which your life simply will never be the same. Everything from your life beforehand is called into question—things you said and did, the words and lessons of your parents, and BS societal motifs like the “American Dream” and America being “the land of opportunity” as well. All of these things are suddenly cast in doubt because you just didn’t get it then, and hindsight truly is 20/20.
At this point, too, even the friendships you made during that time require reexamination. “Best” friends you had from beforehand are suddenly evaluated on whether or not they actually get these issues or not.
And then there comes a scary point when you realize that the vast majority of them actually do not.
And as you continue to peer backward, a haunting realization slowly creeps up your back, telling you that those friendships can and will never be the same. The closeness you shared so deeply will be swapped for distance. The support and love you had nurtured over years will slowly turn to ambivalence. Those friendships will not be what they once were in light of your awakening, and as painful as your awakening has already been, it will now also require you to leave behind many of your close friends as well.
As if the pain of oppression wasn’t hard enough already.
But at the same time as you are realizing all of these things, you know that having your awakening was still arguably the most important moment in your life. You know that you’re starting to understand these issues, and how they fit in your life and that of others both like and unlike you. You know that you are standing on the side of justice and up against what is just fundamentally wrong and unjust in the world. And you know that your conviction and love for doing good will be able to carry you through that painful transition at the end of the day, as you slowly find a new community of people who actually do get it and care about these issues as much as people should.
Holy shit you explained this perfectly.
“Once you start to speak, people will yell at you. They will interrupt you, put you down and suggest it’s personal. And the world won’t end.
And the speaking will get easier and easier. And you will find you have fallen in love with your own vision, which you may never have realized you had. And you will lose some friends and lovers, and realize you don’t miss them. And new ones will find you and cherish you. And you will still flirt and paint your nails, dress up and party, because, as I think Emma Goldman said, “If I can’t dance, I don’t want to be part of your revolution.” And at last you’ll know with surpassing certainty that only one thing is more frightening than speaking your truth. And that is not speaking.”
I wish I could’ve awakened much earlier, it would’ve saved me years of grief and confusion and self-loathing. How cruel it is that I couldn’t permit my own life to begin until I was pushed to the brink, and wrangled into recognizing the faces of my oppression that have long been cultivated into demons and ghosts
"Wisdom begins when you discover the difference between “That doesn’t make sense” and “I don’t understand."
"The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it."
the first step towards confidence is not being afraid to be ugly
once you get over the fear of being unattractive and stop equating beauty with other good things in life (friends, love, happiness) it’s a lot easier to love yourself unconditionally
your job is not to sit around and be pretty and easy on everyone else’s eyes
your job is to do whatever the fuck you want and look however the fuck you want while doing it
remember that we’re not always in a state of perpetual healing. that means sometimes we fuck up, resort to behaviors that perpetuate the traumas we are working to unlearn and ultimately hurt one another.
in order for us to keep moving forward we have to see each other holistically and not expect that we are perfect in our healing. it’s important to hold each other accountable without alienating one another, knowing that healing takes a lot of work, a lot of resources which can be limited by access, and people who have a mutual language to understand one another in.
extend patience to our peoples who don’t have the resources to actively heal, who don’t have the time or finances to move beyond survival.